My son and hubby are the morning people in my family. No matter what time they turn in, they’re always up early and on time the next morning. They are what’s commonly referred to as “morning people”.
My daughter and I, on the other hand? Not so much…
Trying to wake her up in the morning is like trying to wake up a log. Trying to wake me up is somewhere between prodding a rabid wolverine with a hot poker and playing 7 Minutes in Heaven with a honey badger. Minus the Heaven part. In fact, most mornings I would much rather drive a drywall screw through my foot than roll out of bed.
Do you have the idea now? Great! Moving on then…
Needless to say, finding alarm clocks to wake us up in the morning isn’t always easy. We’re both pretty heavy sleepers, and our alarm clocks usually just wake up everyone else in the house. I’m also known as the resident “snoozer abuser”, hitting my snooze button as many times as I can before hubby decides a cup of water is the answer.
With my daughter starting a new school that starts an hour earlier and is too far to walk to, though, finding alarm clocks to actually get us out of bed is now a must. Here are some of the craziest and loudest alarm clocks for heavy sleepers out there that just might do the trick. They’re categorized as Fun, Loud, and just plain Ugly…
The Fun
Flying Alarm Clock
Imagine if your alarm clock flew across the room! Flying alarm clocks actually do! Well, parts of them do, anyway. When it’s time to wake up, these alarm clocks not only make noise, but a helicopter propeller actually flies off the top of the alarm clock. You have to get up out of bed, find the propeller, and place it back on the alarm clock to get it to stop. I’m thinking that I’d actually have to aim this right at my head to get out of bed in the morning, though.
Laser Tag Alarm Clock
Nothing like a little laser tag to wake you up in the AM! Laser tag alarm clocks are fun little alarm clocks for heavy sleepers that don’t turn off until you shoot a target with a laser gun. Imagine trying to concentrate hard enough to hit a little target. If that’s not enough to wake you up, you could always place the gun out of reach so you have to actually get out of bed or hide the target in a different place each morning to make it a little trickier.
Runaway Alarm Clock
List of things to do in the morning:
1. Wake up.
2. Chase alarm clock.
Ah, yes…runaway alarm clocks. These little buggers actually roll off your nightstand and race around the room. To turn them off, you actually have to catch them first! Clocky was one of the first runaway alarm clocks for heavy sleepers and snoozer abusers, but since his inception, his nasty little brothers Tocky and Pop Clocky have emerged onto the scene. I wasn’t quite sure whether to list the runaway alarm clock under Ugly or Fun, though. On one hand, it’s definitely nasty to make someone stumble around and chase an alarm clock first thing in the morning. On the other hand, it would definitely be fun watching someone chase an alarm clock on wheels first thing in the morning!
The Loud
Sonic Boom Alarm Clock
The Sonic Boom alarm clock is touted to be one of the loudest alarm clocks around. It has a 113 decibel alarm, which is about as loud as a car horn, power saw, or live concert. It also has a strong vibrating unit that can be placed under a pillow or mattress.
Cell Phone + Stereo
This isn’t really an actual alarm clock, but it still works pretty well! Cell phones are decent alarm clocks, but many of them simply aren’t loud enough to be alarm clocks for heavy sleepers. You may be able to remedy this issue by hooking your cell phone to your stereo via a headphone auxiliary cable and cranking the volume. You can then mute the ringer and text alerts on your phone and set the alarm. The cell phone alarm clock will blast through your stereo speakers in the morning. Bonus points if your stereo is located in the next room and you have to get up to turn it off!
The Ugly
Dumbbell Alarm Clock
Get up in the morning and workout with a dumbbell alarm clock? That’s just rude! These interesting little inventions are great for those of us who have a habit of just slapping the snooze button or going back to sleep after turning off the alarm. These dumbell-shaped alarm clocks can only be turned off after the wakee does several curls with the alarm clock.
Android Bar Code Scanning Alarm Clock
The I Can’t Wake Up! Android app is my current alarm clock of choice. It requires users to complete one or more tasks before the alarm will actually shut off. Tasks include math equations, repeating light sequences, rewriting randomly generated text, and shaking the phone several times, among others. One of the more interesting tasks is scanning a barcode, such as the barcode on a tube of toothpaste or box of cereal. Now, if you’ve ever seen me try to scan a barcode with my cell phone at o’early-thirty in the morning, then you’ll completely understand why I have included this in the Ugly section!
Screaming Meanie
This could technically be classified as just plain loud, but the Screaming Meanie is just a downright ugly way to wake up in the morning. If you’ve never heard a Screaming Meanie alarm clock, consider yourself a lucky duck! This is one of the loudest alarm clocks I’ve ever heard – it’s like Hell in your ears. I had the pleasure of listening to this bad boy when my husband was an over-the-road truck driver. Interestingly enough, we didn’t need the Screaming Meanie in our own truck, since you could actually hear several of them going off at around the same time all across the lot. These little suckers are not only loud, but they’re also extremely annoying and not the easiest alarm clocks to turn off. By the time you actually get the thing shut off, you’re wide awake and rarin’ to go! Away. Far, far, far away from that blasted, bleepin’ meanie! These super loud alarm clocks are a little pricey, but they’re worth every penny and they’re super durable.
Do you know of any other alarm clocks for heavy sleepers or snoozer abusers? I’d love some tips!
